"KEVIN SMITH'S 'TRUE NORTH' TRILOGY OFF TO A BIZARRE START WITH 'TUSK'

I watched Kevin Smith's most recent horror-comedy hybrid "Tusk" and if I had to boil it down to three words, I'd have to carefully choose bizarre, awkward, and unnerving.  I've always considered myself a Kevin Smith fan and decided to ignore the low ratings and negative reviews.  I'm still trying to figure out whether or not I liked it.  Justin Long plays Wallace, the ill-fated protagonist who finds himself taken prisoner by Howard Howe, played by Michael Parks, a solitary lunatic with an unhealthy obsession with a walrus he encountered as a younger man.  As a result he seeks to transform his unfortunate houseguest into a walrus by surgically stitching him into a realistic body suit.  The story is grotesquely tragic as we watch a seemingly innocent human being getting broken down and rebuild into a lesser and pathetic creature.  "Tusk" is dismal and disturbing at some points, but awkward at others.  According to the basic rules of storytelling, I understand where my sympathies should lie, but it kind of becomes ambiguous as we learn more about both the Wallace and Howard. 

(Beware of spoilers from this point on) 

Through a series of expository flashbacks Wallace is revealed to be an asshole to his somewhat gullible girlfriend (played by Genesis Rodriguez) while Howard narrates his own sordid history to his victim/personal science project.  Should I feel sorry for Wallace for becoming ensnared in a horrifically life-threatening situation or Howard for living a live of abuse and degradation?  Haley Joel Osment co-stars as Teddy, Wallace's best friend who is set up as a lying and conniving backstabber trying to sleep with Wallace's girlfriend while he's away in search of an intriguing interview for their podcast.  In reality, he's the understanding best friend who comforts a paranoid and self-depricating young woman whose boyfriend is allegedly cheating with podcast groupies.  Johnny Depp plays the only character you can really be sure is on the straight and narrow as Guy Lepointe, a detective on the trail of a malicious killer who leaves dismembered and mutilated bodies all over Canada.  Arguably, Depp's performance is the only source of comedic relief breaking up the dismal horror sequences.

The premise of the story is far-fetched and absurd.  The idea of a man being surgically turned into a walrus is laughable and even lends itself to wacky hijinks worthy of Kevin Smith's style of writing.  The movie begins light and fluffy but takes an abrupt turn for the worst when the story ceases to be humorous and becomes a caricature of a Hitchcock film.

In case you’re wondering, that caricature crack isn’t intended to be an insult.  I thought the story was well written.  The comedic interjections worked to break up the monotony and the bizarre circumstance of a man being transformed into a walrus. If anything, it’s the ridiculousness of that concept that hurts the story, even though I thing Justin Long and Haley Joel Osment are equally irritating and incredibly miscast.  They really don’t act; rather they simply do what the director tells them to do in order to get through the scene.  Michael Parks and Johnny Depp, on the other hand, are very entertaining as the demented old psychopath and the eccentric French-Canadian prefect of police.  They’re characters make the movie worth watching for their performances alone, thought they feel like they should be featured in completely different movies.

I know I didn’t hate “Tusk”, but I’m also not sure that I liked it.  It’s hardtop pin down in either realm of horror or comedy, mostly due to the absurdity of turning a man into a walrus.

“Tusk” is intended to be the first of a series by Kevin Smith entitled the “True North Trilogy” featuring the return of Depp’s character and following two teenaged girls with super powers and a rampaging killer moose.

I’ll probably watch the next two films in the series just to satisfy my curiosity of what Kevin Smith has up his sleeve next.  I mean, he’s Kevin Smith for Christ’s sake.  Many of the reviews about “Tusk” maybe unfavorable but at least he’s stepping outside the realm of conventional storytelling to give us something out there and semi-original.

I’m not saying you’ll like “Tusk” but I am saying you should give it a shot.  It’s new, different, and unique.  I haven’t seen a movie this out there since I’ve seen (INSERT ANY DAVID LYNCH MOVIE HERE).

RUMORS EMERGE REGARDING "DOCTOR STRANGE" CASTING

News traveling fast today as rumors begin to spread like wildfire that Marvel is seeking to enlist Jared Leto for the upcoming “Doctor Strange” film.  Leto’s resume includes “Requiem for a Dream” (2000), “Mr. Nobody” (2009), and most recently “Dallas Buyer’s Club” (2013), which earned him the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. 

Nothing has been confirmed yet as to whether Leto is locked down to play “Doctor Strange” on the big screen, but it looks like “Sinister” director Scott Derrickson will be attached.

As of right now there is no release date set for “Doctor Strange” but Marvel apparently intends to incorporate it into Phase 3 along with “Ant Man” which now has a July 2015 release date and currently lists Michael Douglas (“The Game” & “Last Vegas”) as Hank Pym and Paul Rudd (“Role Models” & “This is 40”) as Scott Lang.

I’m sure we’ll all be watching closely and with great interest as exciting more news is revealed regarding the future of Marvel Studio’s “Doctor Strange”. 

I certainly know I'll be paying attention!

JJ ABRAMS RSPONDS TO LEAKS ABOUT UPCOMING STAR WARS FILM

A good play by "Star Wars Episode VII" director and producer J.J. Abrams in a response to all the leaks regarding the new movie currently in filming and slated for a December 2015 release.

The above image was released earlier today on Bad Robot's twitter by Abrams.

It's already been revealed that Harrison Ford will be reprising his role as Han Solo in the upcoming installment.  You can even see J.J. and Harry sitting side-by-side and in discussion at the center of the photo while the rest of the cast and crew talk among themselves.

If you scan the circle, you'll also find Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) and Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) present as well.

It's widely accepted that "Star Wars" is one of the many cinematic milestones that has helped to change and even shape the course of film entertainment as we know it today, by introducing that world to a  product that was ahead of its time a long time ago in an era not so far, far away.


There's really nothing that can be said about "Star Wars" that hasn't been said before.  You can troll the internet for thousands of articles and thousands more videos wherein nerds from all corners of the earth cheer on the original trilogy while simultaneously jeering the prequels.

You won't hear such nonsense from me at this point.  I'm simply looking forward and hoping that the latest installments will be a fresh relaunch for a franchise I loved so dearly as a child and carry so many fond memories about as an adult.  Until we meet again, may the force be with you!

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

'A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST'

"A Million Ways to Die in the West"  may just be one of a million ways to tell a rom-com story, but it still offers plenty of opportunities for a jaunty laugh.

Seth MacFarlane (“Family Guy” & “Ted”) stars as the cynical and estranged Albert whose girlfriend, played by Amanda Seyfried (“Les Miserables” & “Lovelace”), breaks up with him to date Foy, a suave, tight-assed mustachioed shopkeeper played by Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mother” & “Smurfs”).

Albert is left to his own devices, obsessing about the idea that everything that isn’t you is poised to kill you, while coping with the loss of the woman he loves with the help of Giovanni Ribisi (“Ted” & “Gangster Squad”) as Edward, the naive sidekick who’s dating a saloon hooker, played by Sarah Silverman, that he has still not had sex with.

Meanwhile, Albert is serendipitously introduced to the beautiful and mysterious Anna, played by Charlize Theron, who becomes the new object of his affections.

Fart jokes aside the film is pretty entertaining. It retains the usual lowbrow humor that MacFarlane has become known for while telling a story with heart expressing what it means to go through a break-up, realize your own self-worth, and find the strength to move forward.

While MacFarlane and Theron’s characters are given their time to shine and develop, others are introduced and then quickly dispensed with.  Putting it modestly, roles portrayed by Ribisi, Silverman, Seyfried, and Harris are shallow and ancillary at best.

Most of the cast doesn’t get enough screen time to be memorable.  They’re really just there to further MacFarlane’s plot and give him someone to talk to while he figures shit out.

Seth MacFarlane does a fine job of playing Seth MacFarlane.  I wouldn’t exactly say he’s playing it safe, rather just doing what he does best by regurgitating humor made popular by “Family Guy” and “American Dad.”

Liam Neeson (“The Dark Knight Rises” & “Taken”) kicks ass as the straight-laced, sharp-shooting bandit who’s come to town to tear shit up and kill the good guy for macking on his woman.  While comedy runs rampant everywhere else, when Liam Neeson arrives, you’d swear he was playing the same character from “Seraphim Falls,” like anyone has seen that movie let alone even heard of it.

If you’re happy with the jokes you’ve seen a hundred times in MacFarlane’s other work then you’ll have fun with “A Million Ways to Die in the West.” It’s lighthearted, somewhat witty, and I’m not gonna lie, I even found myself laughing out loud at some points.  There are even moments where you find yourself falling for the usual tropes typically exhausted by the romantic comedy genre.  Any guy who has met a girl and had “the feels” only to lose in love can relate to an underdog like Albert.  The real trick for a movie as absurd as “A Million Ways to Die in the West” is the task of making the characters genuine.  While it works for two or three, however, it doesn’t work for all.

I’d give it 3.5 out of 5 stars.

It’s not perfect, but it satisfies my need for lowbrow and irreverent humor without having to watch “Family Guy” all over again.